Big Men Are Better

It is truth. It is fact. It is law. Four words that cannot be disputed by any rational person, once they are considered in totality. Ladies, take notes.

Don’t be surprised if you weren’t aware of this simple, eternal truth. Shockingly few people are, and many of them struggle against it. Most only learn it after years of hard experience, and a tragically high number of people will simply never come to this realization.

Big men are better. That’s all it is.

Now, as many of you know, the realization of a truth is nothing without knowing the “why” behind it. Oh, sure, you could just realize one day that big men are the way to go, or that you want to be a big man, without ever wondering why, and let’s be very clear: That’s perfectly OK. Your life will still be enriched by your newfound, if unexamined, wisdom. One needs not know the statistics on how many lives seat belts save a year in order to be just as protected by wearing one.

But why? Why is this the case? The first thing you must do is clarify “big.” Now, let’s face it, there are a lot of places where size matters (No, Karen, you dirty-minded pervert, that’s not one of them. Well…not entirely one of them. But I digress.) However, there are three critical areas where bigness is critical.

First, a big man must be BIG OF BODY. Tall, broad men are the way to go, ladies. Big men are better able to carry stuff, lift heavy things, open jars, haul loads, and pick you up and carry you, should the situation call for it. Their height gives them an advantage in lifting, reaching, peering over crowds, and fetching things from high shelves. They’re a better deterrent against harassment in public, and usually serve as better space heaters in private.

Now, for all this utility, it may surprise some of you to know that this is, while still critical, the least important of the categories of bigness. Still, all things being equal, take the man that shops at “Big & Tall Men’s” over the skinny midget at “Structure” any day.

Second, a big man must be BIG OF MIND. Physical size is not enough. While a big man is growing to his full physical dimensions, he should also be expanding his mind, making it grow in scope and breadth. One who is big of mind should process information constantly, reading fine literature, studying his environment, making himself more knowledgeable about the world he lives in.

More importantly, though, big of mind also means open-minded. The man who is big of mind will entertain other viewpoints than his own. He has room in his mind to consider new ideas, new concepts, new ways of thinking. He may be better at quoting Shakespeare, or solving mathematical equations, but the man who is truly big of mind recognizes the value of both. He does not shy away from learning, and is willing, or better yet, eager, to listen to others say their peace and absorb what wisdom they have to share. The truly big-minded man grows more curious and more eager for knowledge the more he acquires. There are far too many man that may be very smart, but don’t have room in their head for someone else’s idea. These men are small-minded, and to be avoided like the plague.

Lastly, and most importantly, a big man must be BIG OF HEART. This is essential. The truly big man must have a vast capacity to love. He can be a bit of a curmudgeon; many big men have a vast capacity to love only a few people, and as long as you’re one of them, it’s all good. The man who is big of heart is caring, sensitive, and will love you for who you truly are, not what you are on the outside, or what you might one day be. He will find no joy in harming others, and will oppose it whenever and however he can. The man truly big of heart will constantly strive to be a good man, even if he fails now and again. Patience, forgiveness, and compassion will always rest in him heart, and he won’t hold grudges for long.

Of course, many big men must conceal this aspect of themselves. Big men gain a certain credibility and awe for fostering reputations of being aggressive, mean-tempered, and prone to violence. A good number of big men actively try to appear as assholes, but the man who is truly big of heart cannot maintain this façade under scrutiny for long. Inevitably, his true nature will betray him.

Big of body, big of mind, and big of heart. Some men fulfill the spirit of these qualities, but far short in stature. Two of my very good friends, John and Kyle, barely top five feet. However, in their heart of hearts, they are big men, so they are acceptable if no truly large men are to be found, but one really should aim for all three. I keep suggesting that they should grow some more, but they refuse to listen. I don’t blame them…the truly large man must forgive others their…ah…shortcomings.

All right…time to head home. Be good, readers, stay safe, and have fun. And just remember:

Big men are better.

(The management would like to remind the reading audience that this journal is not to be taken entirely seriously, and that the author is prone to sarcasm and bouts of (presumed) wit.)
(The author refuses to confirm whether he is a large man, and categorically denies any and all rumors that he is, himself, a nice guy. He also wishes to remind the readers that the management is a foul group of morally bankrupt midgets.)